Neighbourhood Watchman

My neighbourhood is everything within two miles of my house. I do not often walk the Hammer much further than that.

I like to know what is going on in my neighbourhood. Always been like that. Luckily for my neighbours I am not a fucking cop. Because I was brought up in Sliverville, my country's largest penal colony that is not a national or provincial capital, I spot criminal shit from a distance a sniper cannot hit.

Been curious about this one house in particular for a spell. Today I finally got to talk to someone who lives near it.

"Anybody live in that place?" I asked.

"Not exactly," I was told. "Somebody comes by now and again," they added with an arched eyebrow. "We can smell what they are up to," was how they summed it up with a twitch of their nose.

House has earned its come and go occupant millions of dollars over the years. It will continue to do so until our backward country emerges from the dog sled age and legalizes what should have been legalized decades ago.

Time to do it, government motherfuckers.