4 March 2015

Log Exports - One More Time

As usual I am pissed off about all the logs getting shipped out of my province unprocessed. Unprocessed is a big word meaning untouched by sawmill workers like me.

More unprocessed logs getting shipped out cheaper than ever before. Seems to me some assholes somewhere declared a jihad on sawmill workers. No logs for us sawmill workers is like depriving a farmer of the sun, rain and fertilizer.

Too bad for us sawmill workers we do not have fighter jets and bombers to fight the holy war on sawmill workers motherfuckers. All we have is our votes and our voice. I would like our chances better if we had a fucking Air Force.

Until we get one us sawmill workers had better do what we can to stop the holy war before we are all gone. The jihadists we ought to be keeping tabs on does not wield a holy book, wear a turban or carry a black flag. It wears a suit, drives a nice car, does a lot of cocaine and just like the jihadists of Syria we are all too familiar with it carries a bag of fucking heads, heads with hard hats, to show off to its growing, sickening brotherhood.

2 March 2015

The Endless River of Beer

Sonja's brother Henrik told me, with no little enthusiasm, it was "chickenfucking good" so I bought the new Pink Floyd album "The Endless River."

Two lps.

Gatefold sleeve.

Lovely photographic insert.

Not cheap.

The first new Pink Floyd album I had bought since "Meddle."

It sure as fuck is not punk rock.

I like it.

A lot.

You will probably like it.

A lot.

Especially if you still do drugs.

Or not.

You dirty motherfucking hippie.

24 February 2015

What Do You Think of Christy Clark?

Some people think Christy Clark is dumb.

Some people think she is a liar.

Some people think she is both.

I do not think she is dumb. That would be uncharitable. I do think she is not that smart however.

Dishonesty is something of a talent of hers. Treachery yet another. Both political skills that render intelligence irrelevant.

23 February 2015

Curly and His Girlfriend Do Mardi Gras

My old friend Curly just got back from New Orleans. Drove the whole way there and back with his girl friend just to experience Mardi Gras. Fat Fucking Tuesday. For the first and probably only time in their lives.

"Motherfuckers were puking and pissing right there on the sidewalk. If they weren't so god damn drunk they would have have pulled down their pants and shit on the sidewalk too. Smelled like a lot of them had been shitting their pants that's for sure.

"That sure as fuck was not in the tourist brochure. Americans have got no fucking class whatsoever. I'm a Canadian for fuck's sake. I like to do my pissing, puking and shitting in the outhouse."

"And all the Americans wanted me to do was show them my tits," Curly's girl continued. "I might have but most the men down there have bigger tits than I do. Look at your own fucking tits is what I got to telling them.

"By next morning I was beginning to understand why those ISIS creeps want to go on beheading Americans - puking, pissing, pantsshitting, want to look at your tits motherfuckers! That's America. That's Mardi Gras. New Orleans can go fuck itself if you ask me."

20 February 2015

Hitler Nuts

Sometimes when I let the Hammer loose to socialize with her dog and human friends I get distracted by own socializing with my dog and human friends. I love all my neighbours' dogs and you never know what you are going to talk about with people free of work, television and their god damn phones. Spontaneity is something we could use a great deal more of in our world if you ask me. Everything has gotten so fucking ordered it would drive Hitler nuts.

Sometimes, not often mind, I forget to to keep an eye on where the Hammer is shitting. What I do then, if I cannot find it straight away, is go back the next day and find some extra dog shit to pick up. It is not pleasant work. Kind of like working in a sawmill.

Give me a hot steaming pile of Hammer shit over some other dog's cold crap any old day.  

18 February 2015

Bill C-51 - Dope City Free Press Special Editorial

A Message to the Prime Minister of Canada from the editorial desk of the Dope City Free Press - Take Bill C-51 and shove it up your ass!

We need more Liberty in this country not more fash bullshit that could only have been dreamed up by enemies of the people of Canada.

17 February 2015

Stay Free

In case you have not noticed I am in favour of free speech. My breath would not fog up a mirror on a cold day without the ability and willingness to say whatever the fuck I want.

Their willingness to fight for free speech decades ago, when that rudimentary right was under attack, is why I will always have a soft spot for the Wobblies. Without free speech we are not humans - all we are is eaters, shitters and fuckers when we cannot say what we mean. Not that I have anything against eating, shitting and fucking! All that eating, shitting and fucking is kind of meaningless without change in the world (and do we need change!) and there is no change without free speech.



All forms of religion make me vomit. Such free speech as that apparently makes me a target of some kind for some of the bigger religious assholes out there to aim at.

Some of those bigger religious assholes are willing to die shutting free speech motherfuckers like me up. I am willing to die or be imprisoned defending my right to poke a stick in their eye. Been like that since I could think for myself around about the age of ten.

Unlike the free speech defenders in that cafe in the fine city of Copenhagen I am not willing to leave my defense up to the state and their knuckle dragging police - who clearly are not up to the task. I will defend myself. I suggest you similarly prepare yourself if you want to stay free and alive.

Fuck the police.

Stay free.

We are the last gang in town worth fighting for.

8 February 2015

Luxman K-110

Upgraded my secondary stereo (and it is a two speaker set up - two ears = two speakers) with a Luxman K-110 cassette deck. Manufactured in 1987. Has four magic words printed on the back -  Made In Fucking Japan. Original MSRP on it was a couple beers short of $500. Cost me the same as the deck it replaced - $10. Thing does not appear to have been used much. My tapes sound so much brighter now.

Began its new life playing music for me with a Little Country Joe and the Fish. "Gimme an F!"

Put a big smile on my face the Luxman did. Same sort of smile a man gets when he hits a 50-1 shot at the racetrack.

Our buy until you die society is really something else. You buy a machine that would have burned up most of a pay cheque of mine in 1987, hardly use it for nearly thirty years, then give it away to charity where it fetches $10 because our buy until you die society has long since moved on to digital machines. Digital machines that will not fetch even $10 on the used market in 2045 I might add.

5 February 2015

Neighbourhood Watchman

My neighbourhood is everything within two miles of my house. I do not often walk the Hammer much further than that.

I like to know what is going on in my neighbourhood. Always been like that. Luckily for my neighbours I am not a fucking cop. Because I was brought up in Sliverville, my country's largest penal colony that is not a national or provincial capital, I spot criminal shit from a distance a sniper cannot hit.

Been curious about this one house in particular for a spell. Today I finally got to talk to someone who lives near it.

"Anybody live in that place?" I asked.

"Not exactly," I was told. "Somebody comes by now and again," they added with an arched eyebrow. "We can smell what they are up to," was how they summed it up with a twitch of their nose.

House has earned its come and go occupant millions of dollars over the years. It will continue to do so until our backward country emerges from the dog sled age and legalizes what should have been legalized decades ago.

Time to do it, government motherfuckers.

4 February 2015

Here Comes Another Pearl Harbor

Something tells me the video happy head chopping human barbeque loons (VHHCHBL) have finally pissed off the wrong people: the Japs. Been 70 years since Toyota hit back at somebody in anger. I expect them to do just that.

Pretty handy with swords the Japs are. Have a time honoured principle of handing criminals hard time over short periods. Anybody's guess what they will do to even the score. Did the VHHCHBL not hear about Pearl Harbor?

As a young thug Londoner I once knew put it, "Whatever you do, don't mess with the slit eyes."